When I was first introduced to ultra-marathons four years ago, reading about people running 100 miles non-stop blew my simple mind. The furthest I was aware people run up until then were marathons! Over the last few years having done races hovering around 30-45 miles, the 100 seemed like the next natural progression to me, especially as I was still feeling high and confident to take on the world after The Spine (Yes I managed to mention it in the first paragraph, deal with it. Did I tell you that I finished The Spine?!).
2016 started with that race that I never talk about, at all, wiping me out until the start of April. I didn’t quite believe it was possible for a race to knock someone for that long when Ronnie told me, but nearly 2 months later I was only just starting to settle back in to regular running. Which is fine because that left loads of time to talk about that race that I never talk about. I came away in January with an injury to my right shin, inflammation around the tendons that was quite painful for about 3 weeks, and after that my legs just felt extremely tired even just walking, no chance of running on them! I could see other competitors already in training and racing well before, but they had been in the game a lot longer than me and their legs had built up the endurance. I remember reading that it takes about 3 years of running ultras before you build up the endurance to run a 100, another reason I felt this was the year it would be done! Even after settling in to regular running 3 or 4 times a week throughout April, I was still struggling to put in the cross-training, the runs alone felt enough and I wanted the rest in between. It felt like I was building right back up from the start! I felt myself getting lazy, I had no fixed goals other than the 100 in distant September so I needed to book myself some closer races and get the engine started. The kettlebells were dusted off, my favourite way to cross-train and I booked 2 ultras.
The motivation to train was well and truly found by the end of April, the first ultra I booked was the Lakeland 10 peaks in June, the short course (35 miles with 3200mtrs ascent). In view of this I agreed on my first decent fell run of the year, in fact it was the first let alone a decent one! The group of ‘friends’ (you know who you are!) told me to expect about 13 miles with 1000 metres ascent. I was back up to half marathon distance in my long runs and figured if I went slow on the climbs I would be ok…16 miles and 2000mtrs ascent later and having been unable to keep control of my pacing in any way, shape or form, I was well and truly destroyed. I spent the next week walking up and down the stairs in my house like a drunk crab being shoved by a wave. I was doing ok up until the 8 mile turn-around point, and then I spent 7 out of the next 8 miles in cramp in some, most or all of my lower body! I had a lot of work to do before the 10Peaks so over the next 6 weeks once my legs had forgiven me I put in as much fell running as I could, mainly around my favourite playground above Loweswater. The training went well, I originally planned on practising my pacing for a comfortable finish. But an email from Ronnie who was (and still is) coaching me, plus my own curiosity the week leading up to the race had me psyched for pushing it and seeing where I was at. I punched out right from the start and was stoked to finish in 8th place, with only 6 weeks of decent fell training under my belt. I have now done the short and long version of this event and it’s definitely right up there in my favourites, one of the most scenic in the country if you like mountains and I will be back to do even better sometime. I also need to learn all of the speedy Bob Graham shortcut’s the fell runners use off of the peaks, they completely disappeared! Unless they fell off and I didn’t even think to call mountain rescue, in which case I’m sorry.
The 10Peaks didn’t take me too long to recover from, I was chuffed I didn’t actually have that much aching from it at all over the next few days!
Next on the cards was the St Begas 35 (2000m ascent) in August, it would be my final test run before the RH100 in September. I was confident after a good finish with the 10Peaks, and it spurred my training on for the next 2 months. I was now regularly cross-training again, mainly with Kettlebell, skipping and bodyweight circuits. And the occasional flexibility session. By occasionally I mean hardly ever. And by hardly ever I mean a bit like an eclipse, just that we can predict when they will happen easier and at least they look like they know what they’re doing in photos. I’ll never learn! The long runs went up nicely to the point my week felt satisfyingly hard and full of decent training. By the month of August I was feeling as fit as I’ve ever felt. A nice balance of fitness as well, I felt strong and fast all over strength-wise, as well as confident with my running. This time with the race being only 3 weeks before the Robin Hood 100, I wasn’t going to damage myself by racing, I would use it as a confidence booster to check how my legs were feeling, and practise my intended 100mile pace whilst wearing the same race set-up and kit. I had a good friend joining me for this race who was doing his 4th Ultra, he was interested in practising pacing and seeing how he felt by the end so it was ideal for me to hold us back at a sustainable pace which wouldn’t break either of us. He did really well, only showing signs of fatiguing at about 30 miles, we had stuck to the plan and it had worked nicely, I was glad for him. I was over the moon with how I felt by the end. I had said from the start, “I want to finish feeling like I can turn around and do it again, otherwise I’m in big trouble next month!”. And that was exactly how I felt crossing the finish line. My legs were fine, I had no complaints or signs of cramping, I could have done it again! And for that reason this was probably the most enjoyable ultra I have ever run, I really felt like I was getting confident with this game. I believe that an element of preparation for racing should allow us to feel both ends of the spectrum in regards to fatigue. I know what it feels like to be destroyed and finish through pure stubbornness and grit with 100% effort. Wishing I had trained smarter whilst shouting at that rock I clumsily stub my toe on because I need something to blame. Now I needed to know what it felt like to comfortably and easily run an ultra. And from there I’d know how to gauge my effort level, training and strategy so that I can visualise how I will feel by the end of an event, and set an appropriate pace. To be able to go at 80% for example, you need to know what 0-100% feels like in all areas, so I think anyway. Ronnie’s probably spitting his coffee over his laptop at the moment shouting ‘Boll#@ks’! The St Begas 35 was a superb event, the checkpoints were great, full of music and volunteers having fun in fancy dress and good food! The route was stunning, and potentially very, very fast. So I already know I want to race it sometime!
The next three weeks were enjoyed with another week of training, I felt next to no fatigue from the Sbu35, but a Kettlebell instructor course the next weekend ruined that. I haven’t had deep fatigue like it since The Spine. I may as well have been hitting myself with the damn things! Did I tell you I finished The Spine? I was feeling good, the work had been done and I began to enjoy a couple of well earnt weeks tapering, which after a few months feeling busy and full-on with it all, felt strange! I realised I had had a very selfish couple of years and changed in my approach to my training a lot. I believe that to commit to these big events takes a large amount of dedication and sacrifice. I missed out on a lot of things, parties, socials, stag do’s or anything that got in the way of my long runs or recovery at times. I slept early on my weekends off to recover better and focused on my training. I trained through my holidays, even in hot Israel and Jordan or on a stag do in Benidorm! I separated myself from negative people or groups who wanted to pull me off of track, harmlessly and unintentionally but it was still diverting me from my goals. And worst of all, I met my soulmate…wine, far less often! But that’s how it has to be for me, I guess. That is the ethos I say to myself which allows me to hit my goals. Commit. Train. Achieve.
The week of the Robin Hood 100 arrived, and I decided to treat this race in a more organised fashion, I even started packing and kit checking 2 days before the start, which is a lot better than my usual chaotic ‘on the morning of the race’ style, I also checked in to a cosy B&B in Retford in the late afternoon on the Friday to relax and unwind. A change in my work pattern meant I was happy that I would sleep well the night before, shifts never worked so well in regards to this and I don’t miss them! I had an email from another competitor and arranged to give him a lift to the start in the morning at 06:00.
In the early evening on Friday I drove to the start line at the village hall in South Wheatley. I walked out along the route for a couple of miles, thinking, talking to myself out loud. Reminding myself of my rules of failure, my training, everything sacrificed and gained up until this point. I turned around and walked back in to the finish, imagining the feeling of coming in at the end of my first 100mile ultra.
Back at Retford I had a nice meal with a relaxing glass of wine, made some final kit preparation for the morning and managed to get a half decent sleep, bliss.
I woke up feeling refreshed, had some coffee and muesli for breakfast and started hydrating and fuelling up. It was a good idea prepping so well as getting sorted felt relatively hassle free, I ‘d even laid out the race day clothing on the floor in order the night before! I picked up Neil just after 06:00 and we were at the start line not long after, with a good hour to get sorted, fill up water bottles and put on kit etc, whilst soaking in the atmosphere. It’s safe to say I was absolutely bouncing off of the walls! I wasn’t even scared of what was about to happen, come what may, I felt confident I could finish and was looking forward to the learning and experience along the way. I had prepared for war, but I had earnt the right to be on this start line and within the next 30 hours I would finish my first 100mile ultra.
Just before 08:00 the heard of kit burdened runners made their way to the start line like a flock of penguins let loose in a running store. I guess there was about 60 entrants, I ended up standing near the front but was quite happy that the majority would pass me within the first few miles. I was going to religiously stick to my pacing and I anticipated like most ultras, the majority would head out faster than intended, caught up in the atmosphere and feeling fresh. Ronnie called the start and we were off with the sound of about 60 GPS watches being pressed. I already wanted to chase. I could see someone at the front taking off well ahead doing 8 minute miles. He may as well have been holding up a flag saying ‘I want to win!’ whilst firing energy gels in to the air. It was awesome to watch, one day I want to be that guy. But not today on my first 100, today I plodded comfortably hovering around the 10minute mile mark, no faster. A large majority passed me within the first couple of miles and it was painful letting them go ahead, I was moving to the back but had faith in my plan. Some of them were even running up the hills so early on. It took a lot of discipline not to keep with the main pack but I was sure a lot of them were going too fast and would regret it later. People were passing me and I could tell from their breathing that their effort level was too high, there was no way I thought they could sustain it. I wasn’t going to fall in to the trap. The terrain was nice and through farmer’s fields, with some hills to instigate a walk up, I controlled my pace on the downhills as well. The weather was pretty perfect, cloudy and cool with a chill in the air, I took my windproof off after a couple of miles as I was getting too hot and then stayed at a comfortable temperature until the evening.
On getting to the Boat Inn we turned on to the canal and I knew I had a good 13 miles of pretty much perfectly flat trail by the side to follow until we turned off. Which I would use to warm up and get in to the ‘groove’. I was slightly concerned how tired my legs felt, they had been feeling fresh on the taper but today felt heavy, all the more reason not to go too fast. I could see people ahead and deliberately put in the odd minute or two of walking every now and again to bring the revs down. It was still a long way to go. It didn’t feel like long before we were already heading through Retford and hitting the first checkpoint. The table was full of race food; peanuts, biscuits, crisps, jam sandwiches etc and a variety of drinks. It was a great setup and appeals to the binge eating side of me! I blame race checkpoints for my poor manners at any party that has a finger food buffet. And apparently it’s weird turning up to them with a race vest and running poles, wedding or not. I took a few bits and downed a couple of drinks despite not particularly needing either, I ate on the walk. I intended to spend minimum times at every checkpoint and keep myself regularly fuelling and hydrating.
The next checkpoint wasn’t far and I didn’t need much. It was before a cool climb with a zig-zag path over to the other side. It was surprisingly bigger than I was expecting as I had a picture in my head that this course was extremely flat, but the walking-break up was welcomed. The tape and signage was easy to negotiate and I kept a thumb on the map.
I hit aid station 3 which was the start of the 2 loops in the forest (30miles each), about 19miles in to the race. I made a mental note that it had taken me not far over 3 hours to get to this point so I could plan the return, which I anticipated might take an hour longer. It had been a harmless section and I was starting to work out that the checkpoints were very frequent, I had no chance of running out of water or going hungry! A very quick stop and I was off. The main group was still ahead of me but it was still early, I already thought I was being quicker at the checkpoints than most.
Off in to the forest I went for the first 30mile loop, which was pretty exciting for my Spaniel-self. I hadn’t managed to get a recce in so had never seen any of it before, it was nice runnable trail right through the middle of the forest. It was regularly taped so between that and thumbing the map was pretty easy to follow. Before long I was having to force myself to take little walking breaks as the terrain was fast enough to forget, there were some small undulations which were barely worth walking up but I used them anyway to prompt me. ‘Walk now or you’ll be forced to walk later’ I kept telling myself. After a sharp turn we left the trails and path in to some fields.
It was awesome, perfectly defined trails through the crops, it brought me right back to being a kid on the farmland I grew up near. I just hoped I wouldn’t return with the resulting hay-fever swollen face and eyes that I used to come home with back then as well! We went through Hardwick village, crossed a scenic bridge and then back in to the fields before hitting aid station 4 at about the 25mile mark in about 4hrs40min. Here I knew I was going faster than my plan, despite feeling good and having slowed myself down. I had split the race in to 4 quarters of 25miles each. My plan was to go no faster than 10minute miles, and to allow 5.5 hours each for the first 2 halves. Which would allow me to slow if needed and have 6.5 hours for the second 2 halves. My plan was simple, I wanted a sub24hr. Because when I first started looking in to 100’s I gathered if you could do it within 24hours that was a decent time. So I needed to put some more walking in or I feared I would regret it later. I told myself that this was ok, it was 40minutes in the bank for me to walk with later if needed, and I hadn’t gained it recklessly either. I had never felt like I had been running hard or getting in to the ‘red revs’.
It was only 3 miles until the next checkpoint because that was the start of a 10mile loop, so here I grabbed a half decent hand full of food and took off, I was back around within a couple of hours. The loop was nice, undulating with forest trails that I just got lost in thought whilst I floated through. It was also through this loop that I surprisingly started to find my ‘groove’ and the legs felt like they’d loosened up! Maybe I wasn’t in trouble after all, I’m sure that the legs feeling tired at the start was psychological. But I laughed that it had taken me around 30miles to feel ‘warmed up’!
The next checkpoint was only about 6 miles away in a carpark. There was a hilarious moment where running by a small lake I wondered what the big caged off ‘caves’ were at the top of all the stairs. I walked up to look inside to be blinded by about 6 head torches inside. I immediately offered water and food and asked how long they had been trapped as a joke, 5 of them were laughing. The 6th simply said ‘there is a tour on the go here can you leave us alone please’, I probably ruined his upcoming joke or mind-blowing fact, oops! It turns out there are a network of caves with ancient art on the walls and they run tours through it during the day.
Only another few miles through cool roads and trail and hey presto, I was back at the start of the 30mile loop! I had now run further than I ever had in an Ultra before at 50 miles. And I was feeling good. Great even! I was one hour ahead of my schedule as it had taken me 10 hours. But I was buzzing and again it hadn’t been done recklessly. I had met and had cool chats with various people along the way and bumped in to people I already knew. I could see people starting to tire and especially at this checkpoint I felt my plan coming in to action. People were sitting and sorting a lot of stuff out, looking tired. I didn’t even sit-down, I didn’t feel the need to, I didn’t want to sit in case my legs all of a sudden froze up as something wasn’t right, they felt good! The great thing about this checkpoint was that the hot food and drink was starting and I had been gagging for a coffee! The soup and bread was awesome as well. My kit bag was here so I had access to different layers for the night, I put on a warmer top as it would be darkness within a couple of hours. I met some great volunteers here and the amount of times I had been asked about The Spine or heard ‘what would Ryan Wood do?’ was making me cringe, cheers for that Ronnie! (If you don’t know what race I’m talking about, it’s because I never talk about it) The volunteers at the checkpoints make a great difference and thanks to everyone who helps at them, they are a great laugh, helpful and a good distraction to the distance, I even start looking forward to seeing them and getting to know and recognise them. I’m pretty sure John thought I was jumping on the back of his van and getting lifts because I saw him at most checkpoints! I changed to a fresh pair of socks just because it gave me the opportunity to have a quick look at my feet, they were all good. I did all this whilst eating and drinking and was back out after an efficient turn-around.
The legs knew they had done a long run, of course! But they were still going strong. In a couple of hours the head torch had been turned on, night time was here. But not before I accidentally crept up on and scared the life out of checkpoint 4, who didn’t see me coming without the torch on. I like the night time. I hide from the outside world and fatigue in my own bubble of thoughts, knowing that if I just keep going long enough, daylight will arrive and that would mean I was only a matter of hours away from the end. In a way this race was pretty perfect for how I like to do long distance. At times it almost felt like checkpoints could have been further apart because I wasn’t hungry or thirsty by them! But that’s a reason why it is perfect for first timers or racers, the support network was fantastic. And knowing this gave me great confidence as hydration and fuel are always the hardest risk to manage in an ultra. And breaking it down in to small 5-10 mile sections is much easier to think of doing, knowing you’ll only be running for a couple of hour’s maximum before the next. I had saved the music until night time as well, and now the headphones came out to entertain me for a few hours with a variety of random music.
It was when I was approaching aid station 5 for the second time that I could tell my legs were starting to tire, it was coming up on mile 70 and I needed more walking, it wasn’t hard to run slower either! I was impressed by the people here who had already returned from the loop so were a couple of hours ahead of me! I had been overtaking people who had slowed and felt the effect of going too fast at the start but not as many as I anticipated. It is the checkpoint at the start of the 10mile loop that you do before coming back to the same checkpoint. I fuelled up and left thinking it might take me half an hour longer this time. I started the loop with a decent walking break to let the food settle. It was pitch black and the weather had cooled significantly, it was getting chilly. Annoyingly my head torch blinked showing a low battery. Which was absurd as I had put in a new set the night before. Because I also had a spare torch with new batteries I had decided not to bring spares with me, I began to think this had all the makings of a disaster if both of the torches mysteriously ran out in the middle of the woods! But I’d also drunk so much coffee that it would have seemed like broad daylight even without a torch anyway! I changed to the other torch within the hour because the night had brought in a mist that was making visibility low and it was hard to spot the tape at times. The stronger torch was brought out which was far better and it lasted the whole night. I overtook the man who was running with his Husky dog at the start and never saw anyone again until towards the end of the 10mile loop. I had been paranoid the whole way round of getting lost, something that I can do very well! I fully anticipated running in circles around the same tree for 2 hours later on just because it seems to be what I do at the end of events. As the visibility and fog made it hard work to see some of the tape but I managed to keep it on track apart from a few confused search-arounds at junctions. I only took about 10-15 minutes longer to do the loop and was relieved to get out of it as the risk of getting lost had disappeared, the rest of the course was much easier to follow. I fuelled up well and had a good chat with the people at the checkpoint before moving on. Standing still had hit me hard temperature wise, I didn’t realise quite how cold I had been. I only made it 50metres out of the checkpoint before feeling extremely cold, shivering and stopping to get the thicker fleece out of my race vest, I’m definitely glad I put it in there. The gloves went on as well.
My legs were definitely tired now. But every time I told them to run and made sure I concentrated on good technique and posture, they did what I said and just kept going, no complaining. I had to put in more short walk breaks, the odd 30seconds or couple of minutes here and there but I was very happy they were still running and hadn’t cramped on me! I now know it’s the hills of the Lakes that give me the dreaded cramp, not the distance! I recognised the trail from the first loop round and it was only 6 miles until the next checkpoint. A quick chat and then off again, 4 miles to the next checkpoint this time. Easy to break up. I told myself it was just like going out on my ‘back to back runs’ on a Sunday. The day after doing my long 4-5hour run, my legs would be tired so I would simulate this moment right here and take them out for 7-8 miles. I was pretty much just doing that at every checkpoint which helped a lot when visualised in that way. I had done this section every Sunday for the last couple of months!
I arrived at checkpoint 3 again. The original checkpoint that had entered us in to the 30mile forest circuit which I had now done twice. I didn’t sit down on the first loop but treated myself to a 5minute sit down on this one. The last few miles had been hard graft and my left foot was starting to show pain on the metatarsals and arch. I asked for the soup but no bread this time, I had eaten that much bread and food, I never thought I’d say it but…I had eaten too much! I was getting sick of food! The soup was a welcome change. I was well outside my previous limits now, I had run 80 miles and was very happy! I had a funny chat with the staff but was feeling the effort for sure. I knew it was 20miles back to the start and I was well on track for a 23hour finish at this rate.
I got myself out of there, the finish line was 20miles away and my chair wasn’t floating to it. The sit-down froze my legs up and they complained a lot over the next mile when asked to start running again, the issue in my left foot was now getting extremely painful. Back up and over the zig-zag path on the hill where the walk was welcomed again. By the next checkpoint in the carpark only 4 miles since the last checkpoint my foot was in agony. I was struggling to put weight on it or run with good form and the run down the hill had to be a walk. Again the checkpoint staff were awesome, I was expecting to see my best friend Zak volunteering at anyone one of them now, and the lovely Maggie! I left running. Trying to anyway but as soon as I got around the corner I went in to a walk again, I couldn’t run on it. It was too painful. I could see my sub24 being ripped away from me close to the end. I knew if I walked it in from here I would still finish in time with the 30hr time limit, there was no way that I was quitting. But to miss my aim would have hurt more than the foot. I wasn’t fancying booking another 100 to retry for it at this moment in time! It had affected me for a good 4 miles now, running on it wincing in pain every time. I was extremely annoyed. Analysing myself. My technique. Why just the left foot? My technique seemed pretty symmetrical on both sides, so I thought. What was different? And then it dawned on me…The shoes…The laces could be done up differently! I was wearing a pair of light gaiters over both shoes to stop any stones getting in, which had served their purpose. As soon as I tampered with the left one I realised it was pressing down on the lace knot, which was also quite tight. I figured this had been repetitively pushing on the top of my foot for over 80 miles now right where the pain was. I’m not sure if it was really the cause, or just coincidence but loosening it all seemed to relieve the problem. And within 2 miles I was managing to run on it again. But my time had been hit hard. I pretty much worked out I had to maintain 10 minute miles for the majority of the remaining distance. But this is where I really amazed myself. I could, after having already done over 80 miles. My watch had now run out of battery, I had no idea what my pace was and it didn’t bother me as I knew it was only another 3ish hours until the end, distance was irrelevant. But I could feel my pace, and I wasn’t far off of it. Even more surprising was that as long as I concentrated on good posture and technique, they were running relatively well. Like I had been given a second wind! I wondered if it was all the food and fluids at the last 2 close checkpoints kicking in. But they were running strong. I was running faster now than the previous 20-30 miles for sure. It felt like I was taking a risk, I knew the end was near so preserving myself was less important and subconsciously this probably gave me that second wind. The 24hr finish was still on the cards. All I had to do was not stop running. And If I had to walk, make it short. Run now or regret it in 3hours time when you miss your aim, I was telling myself with every step.
Oddly I had been here before. In visualisation on every long run for months. I am a big believer that visualisation and imagination are a very powerful tool and one that I naturally use a lot. I am a dreamer. My teachers used to hate it. On all my long runs I was tired and imagining being on this race. It’s the reason I knew I could already finish, this fatigue and moment right now, I had run through it before. All these checkpoints where I’m tired but being happy and chatty, I’ve done them and imagined them before and conditioned myself to be that way. In a very hippy or philosophical way I guess. Sometimes I wonder if I’m only a year away from moving to a remote cave, practising yoga, petting animals and throwing ‘save the planet’ books at people who dare to wear clothes or stare at their phones instead of admiring the views. By views I don’t mean my naked homeless self, it would be somewhere with some nice scenery obviously. Luckily I think it may be at least 3 years away. I need to work out how to make a book that doesn’t involve cutting a tree down, and identify a country in Asia without the death penalty for living like this.
I was overtaking, I overtook 3 competitors in the 6 miles before the next checkpoint. One of them was in a lot of pain and was walking it in, he had no battery for his head torch, I offered him my spare from my other torch but his was a rechargeable. I gained on a group which turned out to be 2 competitors and one pacer. I was amazing myself with every stubborn step. 6 miles seemed to take a while, I wondered if I had missed the checkpoint but eventually it came in to view highlighted by flashing lights. I had a coffee and some food, the other group caught up with me and we all had a chat. I saw my favourite race volunteer, Maggie, briefly! I apologised that it was a short stop and began walking with my coffee, I was telling everyone my aim, as if it would make it easier for me. I was just focused on it I guess! The other group followed with the same idea but I took off and after a couple of miles I couldn’t see them behind me anymore. Daylight was coming now and it was still on the cards. I was running through Retford and this section was 9 miles. I knew Zak must be up ahead, and my family may also be turning up for the finish. It was like the never-ending story, extended version. It was the longest 9miles of my life, it seemed to take forever. And I’ve done some extremely diverted long and drunk walks home! I was constantly shouting at myself in my head, ‘run or you’ll regret it later’. ‘Stop walking’! After some distance I could see a high visibility jacket on top of a bridge and a few people moving. I thought it looked like my family and run towards it. It turned out to be Jerry and another Lady. Jerry was another one of Ronnie’s runners, it was great to see him albeit briefly. He won a 160mile race earlier in the year and was a master of this game for sure. I didn’t have time to speak I was chasing the time. This was the Boat Inn turning and signified the last bit before the end. I followed the path but some of the taping wasn’t as clear leading to confusion. I saw some runners up ahead who had turned around and were trying a different direction. My map was destroyed as it was paper and I had been folding, refolding and sweating on it whilst thumbing the route for nearly 100 miles. My phone had run out of battery. Both were due to my bad planning and overuse of the damn phone. This was dangerous territory! I got lost, I couldn’t see the tape it led me down a hill where I couldn’t see any and didn’t recognise the junction. I was standing still waiting on the other 3 to catch me up, relying on them to work it out. Getting extremely stressed because I could only be 3-4miles from the finish and it was so damn close! I had no time! It was like The Spine all over again! None of us could work it out, luckily one of them had a GPS, map and received a phone call and we worked out which turning we had missed. I pictured Ronnie with my family stood at a computer at the hall, wondering what was going on, saying ‘this is to the wire’! I had no time. Once back on the path I took off and thanked them. I was running 9minute miles on the flats I believe. I was even running on the up hills and was surprised that I could. No excuse to walk now it was so close and I had the exact time I needed to get to the finish. I was laughing that this ‘f#@king up at the last stage of the race’ is starting to become a tradition! someone drove past and told me the last checkpoint was a mile ahead. I got to it and probably looked pretty rude but smiled and said I was chasing my 24 as I downed a drink and left! I started to recognise the terrain, I was close! I had a spare watch, it wasn’t GPS but told me the time. I had 20 or 30minutes left to do the last 2 or 4 miles (memory loss!). On a turning I was flagged down a path, something I had forgotten about, a diversion at the end to add on some extra distance and make it up to 100. F#@K! Not now! I was running up the hills, and on the straights, 9 and 8minute miles one last desperate attempt. 10 minutes left. ‘Run now or you’ll regret it’…and then the starting stretch of road became familiar. This was the final few hundred metres. My foot was in pain again but I was running on it anyway, my watch said 8 minutes left. I had done it. I run towards someone who I thought was my brother clapping me in but it turned out to be someone who looked similar (unfortunately for him!), it spurred me on regardless. I checked my watch as I run in to the hall. It said I had 5 minutes left. That had been well and truly ‘to the wire’! I said to Ronnie “Stop that clock because I have my sub24!”. And just like that, with a few claps and walking in to an empty hall, it was over. 24 hours of running and I had achieved the ambition. I was so damn happy. If I had of missed it by minute’s it would have put a downer on the whole race for me. I wouldn’t have forgiven myself and would have believed I walked too much, or went too slow. But I got it just right it would seem. My final placing was 13th position and 23hrs 53minutes.
I relaxed on a seat, got an ice pack on my foot, enjoyed a coffee and some soup and just…Sat there. In a very weird anti-climax and with a smile on my face. It was done. These races are made and earnt during the effort. Afterwards the pride is there and remains but the effort is where the emotion and scars are formed, for me anyway. And as soon as it finishes, so does the emotion and experience. I spent a while there watching people finish and talking with Ronnie. Seeing people finish who I had passed was a great feeling. I had true respect for them and everyone else who was still out there, I felt happy to see them get to the finish. Because there was a good chance they were in more pain and had spent more time in the arena. But if I’m honest it took me a couple of finishers to work out that they were still within the cut-off time. I saw Ronnie handing out medals and t-shirts without explaining that they had DNF’d (did not finish). And then I realised that I had been that fixated on my 24hour cut-off and finish, that I had forgotten that the rules allowed 30 hours to finish the race. For me I believed and had convinced myself that it was 24hours or I had DNF’d. It was a very strange realisation that made me smile.
In the early evening on Friday I drove to the start line at the village hall in South Wheatley. I walked out along the route for a couple of miles, thinking, talking to myself out loud. Reminding myself of my rules of failure, my training, everything sacrificed and gained up until this point. I turned around and walked back in to the finish, imagining the feeling of coming in at the end of my first 100mile ultra.
I don’t know why I’m sharing it but I seem to be developing a habit of spilling my heart and thoughts in to these reports (All 2 of them so far!). And it has nothing to do with the fact that I’ve written this at various hotels and hostels in Europe over the last week (definitely got recovery right this time!). I’m currently sitting in a hostel near Vienna drinking wine! On the 2 miles walking back towards the finish line the day before the race, I became emotional. I welled up…slightly, I might add. And it may have been excess testosterone leaking, who knows. I can’t remember the last time I felt like it. In those 2 miles I came to a deep understanding that in movement, and running and being out on the trails and fells in particular I have a deep and primal connection, emotionally and physically. All the training, sacrifice, challenge, growth and movement in any form, at any time. I absolutely love it. It’s the vessel that allows me to do something that I love doing. And I genuinely believe it is a great gift, to be able to move. OK, maybe my hippy cave is only 1 year away after all!
Chasing Trails 